The Solution

The dialogue below and the text following explain how our inept filmmakers quickly acquire a new monster.

“Why don’t we just conjure one?”
“Uh, because monsters aren’t real.”
“Have the Wizard do it.”
“He’s not a Wizard, He’s an actor.”
“Anyone else got any ideas?”
“Okay, then let’s conjure a spirit, a ghost or something.”
“Yeah, wasn’t there a kid who died here on the ranch?”
“You guys are such idiots. You can’t film a ghost! Even if there were such a thing—which there is not.”
“Have you got a better idea? Or any ideas at all?”
“No. We’re done. That’s it. Over.”
“Let’s at least try.

So they try to conjure a spirit, and it works! They get the ghost of a boy who died at the ranch. They ask if it can do poltergeist stuff. The answer is No. Another dead end. But then the ghost reveals that it can move things that are really light—like cobwebs. He moves his invisible hand through a cobweb, and his “cobweb hand” appears! Now that can be filmed. So he runs through a bunch of cobwebs—there are plenty on the abandoned ranch—and now they have their new monster: “Cobweb man!” A bonus: Later he admits that he was the one who caused a spark to waft horizontally 30 feet to ignite the original monster. Why is this important? Because it means none of the crew can be blamed for letting the monster burn up. Why did the ghost do that? Because he wanted to be in their film! He is both the problem and the solution. By the way, the ghost-boy is deathly afraid of spiders, so running through cobwebs in order to be visible and filmable is not fun for him!

What’s more, thanks to brand new inertial motion capture suits that cost a couple thousand dollars, plus some money for an animator to generate the image, we can make our digital Cobweb Ghost for a few thousand dollars, instead of hundreds of thousands. And we don’t need a mo-cap studio to do it. Is that cool or what?! No one will be able to predict this solution to the filmmakers’ problem, yet it will seem reasonable within the world we’ve created. And it’s fun!

The second monster: “Cobweb Man”